Let's Build a Boat.

                                
I know a guy.

He and his wife are building a boat.
 
A 40 foot catamaran with four bedrooms and two bathrooms.



This past weekend I was at One Mission Society where I will be interning in February for four months while working with their human trafficking prevention ministry called Hope61. 

 

 

 






I went to Indiana this weekend to a small, but awesome, missions conference OMS puts on twice a year. My friend Jess and I went last year, so we already had an idea of what to expect. However, the three other girls that came with us didn’t have too much information on it, but they came anyway and they are so thankful they did!

This weekend at OMS was all about how God speaks, recognizing fears, overcoming fears, and surrender. Surrender became a HUGE part of the weekend, to the point where the facilitation team felt the Holy Spirit leading them to change up the schedule. So on Sunday morning (our last day at the conference) we had a time of being able to step out into the middle of the room and pray.

By that I mean this...
All 40 of us formed a big circle in the room. A facilitator, Patrick, guided our time of prayer and surrender. He had a list of things people may have needed to surrender to God. Whether it was surrendering the want of a family, surrendering control, surrendering thoughts, surrendering dreams, surrendering habits, or surrendering pain, hurt, or abuse.  There were a lot of other things on the list too, including miscellaneous! Patrick categorized the list into similar sections and read the specific sections off. When he was done reading the list, everyone who needed to surrender to something in that section (or similar to something in that section) stepped into the middle of the room and formed a circle. Those who didn’t step into the middle stood around the outside of the inner circle. The inner circle then shared what they were surrendering, and the outer circle prayed for them. It was so intense and so good! At one point people were reading scripture, while others were singing, and others were praying out loud. I’ve never experienced anything like it. It was awesome and the devil was angry! People were surrendering so much hurt and pain and being so open about it that I couldn’t help but just cry. I was happy to see people listening to the Holy Spirit and being guided by Him in ways I’d never seen before.

It was so cool to see the Holy Spirit guiding the facilitation team to lead a time of surrender. I love that they didn’t care about schedules or ruining plans. God had something so much bigger planned and the facilitation team knew it! UGH, it was so awesome! 

                                   Anyway, that’s not the point of this post at all.

                                                                   LOL.

                                                      Let me get started!

During the weekend, Patrick told us a story about Jesus. About how He turned water into wine. If you know anything about the bible, you’ve probably heard or read about this miracle Jesus performed.

It goes something like this:

There was a wedding.

They ran out of wine during the after party (which was three days later).

Jesus was there with his crew.

Jesus’s mom was like, “Son, make some more wine since you’re good at making something out of nothing. You inherited that skill for your father, not me.”

Jesus’s response was kind of like “Ugh, mind your business!”

His mom bossed some people around.

Jesus told the servants to fill up six 20-30 gallon washing jugs with water.

They did.

Jesus said, “Take some of that gross stuff out of the jugs and take it to the guy in charge.”

So they did.

The boss man drank what the servants gave him. (Which is what was usually used as foot washing water.)

He loved it.

He then took aside the bridegroom and commended him on saving the best stuff for last.

(If you want the real, more accurate version, you should probably read it yourself in John 2:1-11.)

During the weekend, we had a session that was about finding what barriers we feel we’ll face, or are facing, while pursuing our call into missions. We had to right down the things we were afraid of or holding us back, and confront them with what they really mean. For instance, a couple of my fears included fund-raising, paying off student loans, getting my diabetic supplies while on the missions field, and being lonely. Turns out, the root of all of those things is me being afraid that God cannot provide me with what I need for what He’s calling me to do. 

Simple.

During my quiet time on Sunday morning I was confronting these things. My biggest concern at the time was my student loans. I’m stressed about them and haven’t even started to pay them off yet! I was talking through with God about the loans, asking Him questions full of worry. I knew God had called me to missions, but I wasn’t sure of how I’d get on the missions field with all the payments I’ll need to start making soon. So after I was done asking all my questions I finally shut up for a few minutes. Then God said, “Erika, if you had no loans to pay back would you be willing to apply to be a missionary tomorrow?”

I thought about it for a second. Then with relief I said “NOOOOOO! I wouldn’t!!!!”
I had always thought my debt was holding me back, but I think it’s more of the loneliness barrier that I have to overcome. I would be scared to death to go on the missions field alone. I want to be married (I can wait on the kids part) before I leave the country. I’d want my best friend to come with me. Someone who I could share my life with and my worries of the day with. Someone who knows me and knows what I need!

After I thought about it and let it all out (it felt like something I was hiding deep down inside forever!) I became silent again.

First God responded with “I am enough.”

Then He lead me to Psalm 68:6, which says “God sets the lonely in families...”

That was all I needed. It was a reminder to me of what God has provided me with already. I have a great family and an awesome church family. Both who love and support me in the paths that God is leading me down. Why should I think God wouldn’t provide me with the perfect family in another country? Whether it’s a husband, or a church family who will take me in. God knows my deepest desires and cares about them too.

I then thought of the story Patrick told us about Jesus and the wine. Jesus made soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much wine. It was over 120 gallons total. Who needs that? It was either a huge wedding, or God wanted to show that He can provide and that He can provide generously even with things that we may thing aren't important to God. But what I didn't realize about this story before was how it shows that God does care about the things we care about. God cares about our happiness, our satisfaction, our deepest desires. He cares about us so deeply.

Through this story and my time spent with Him, God was showing me that when the time is right my loans will get paid off and He will provide me with my funds. He was basically telling me not to worry or focus on that now. Right now He wants me to wait.

Rachel, Patrick’s wife, was telling one of the girls that sometimes God doesn’t tell us where to go or what to do because He wants us to draw closer to Him and spend time getting to know Him so He can prepare us for our journeys. She spoke words of truth into my life even tho she wasn’t speaking directly to me! She said when God gives us a task, we normally just do, do, do to accomplish it. Rachel explained that this is sometimes why God is silent. So we can take a moment to breathe deeply and slow down with Him. During my quiet time, God assured me His timing is perfect and that while I’m paying off my loans to make it practical for me to go into missions, He will be preparing my heart, and the hearts I will meet, as well as the hearts I will become friends with while I’m on the missions field. God is going to provide me with all I need for what He calls me to.
 

Same goes for you.

 

Same goes for my friend Patrick and His wife Rachel.

They’re building a boat.

They’re going to sail around the world on this boat with their two young children. 

The boat is going to aid them in encouraging Christians around the world who are  being persecuted because of their faith.
 
They’re stepping out into the unknown.
 
All they know is God WILL provide.


                   “There is no greater safety than living inside the will of our God.” 

                      2 Chronicles 20:15 - "...For the battle is not yours, but God's."

                         Romans 8:31 - "If God is for us, who could be against us?"

 

(That is supposed to be the end of my blog post, but I really want to tell you about where God is leading me! I am definitely doing the internship with OMS for four months, which will start in February. Directly after that I am going to start looking for a job. One that I can make a decent living off of! I want to give God room to work in paying my loans back and I realize this could take about 10-15 years. So in the meantime, I’m going to learn how to speak Spanish and hopefully get a bible certificate. I just bought a legit Spanish learning program! I figured I’ve got some time to learn to speak a language or two while I’m waiting. After about five years, or until I have a good amount of money saved up, I’d like to do something called eXtremeWalk through OMS. This is about a year long commitment. It consists of cultural training (learning the language, culture, and how to disciple in the culture) for about three months and then about seven months on the field to do some church planting and discipling. Then when I get back, I’ll find another job. About two years before my loans are paid off, I’d like to start raising support to wherever God is calling me for a four year commitment. Now mind you, none of these ideas are set in stone. It’s just a brief little dream-like timeline of where I’d like to be in the next 15 years and what I’d like to do during those years. If Patrick can build a boat, I can dream a little too! I also want to say my mind is not closed to anything else God may put in my path or lead me too!)

                                                That's us with our new friend Bethany! She is awesome! 

This was a really bad accident. We were only a half hour away when we hit stand still traffic. Thank God no one had to pee and that I didn't need gas! Although, my car battery did die...that was my own dumb fault tho! But we  got jumped...and not the bad kind. 

                                      You can't really tell, but that's Hannah's new best friend. His name is Iron Man. 

                                        Shelby performed a cool, accidental, ice trick at Steak 'n Shake. 

I have a story about these cookies. They're everywhere. I still don't know who brought them on the trip, but I don't think anyone ate any. They came in a container which accidentally opened, and I guess the cookies fell out into the bag. Then the bag broke, so the cookies were in my backseat. When we got to OMS I found the snack bag in the front seat with the cookies out of the bag on the floor, and the container the cookies were supposed to be in was shut...and empty. I threw the cookies into the street. Then we were getting ready to leave and I saw Cassie sweeping out cookies, literally with a broom. I was like GOOD! NO MORE COOKIES! Then I get home. What do I find...more COOKIES! I really don't know where they keep coming from. Remember my post where a girl thought a cookie reminded her of God...Well if she had an experience like mine, I totally understand her perspective now.

  
We had a great time over the weekend at OMS! Thank you for your prayers. God spoke to each one of us! 

P.S. Please pray for Patrick and Rachel! For provision, safety, and peace.

Here is there blog to stay updated on their progress if you're interested! 
http://coolwhipfam.wordpress.com/  


  

Everything.

I wasn’t quite sure on how to start this post off. I don’t have a beginning, middle, or end to it yet. All I know is the topic that’s been on my heart the past couple of days.

My God is enough for me.

Everything (about this topic pertaining to my life) kind of hit me all at once the other week as I was driving home from a mini youth leader conference...

It so simple to think that God is enough, but to live it is sometimes not as simple.
So often my heart thinks it wants things. Things that are not God. Just things.

Things.

While my head knows God is enough, sometimes my heart forgets. I want to run to old habits when things get tough, or stressful, or when I feel alone, or misunderstood. Sometimes I want to go to things of this world. I think a lot of us may feel this way sometimes or maybe all the time. We may try to rid ourselves of ‘negative’ emotions by something like shopping or drinking. Something to push our feelings aside for what may even be a moment.

With that being said (at this mini youth conference I went to) I attended a class that turned out to be awesome. One of the things the speaker asked us was to come up with one spiritual discipline we could have for the rest of our lives. I said memorization, mainly because I forget everything. I’d love to be able to memorize scripture and enjoy doing it. But it’s something that I really do not enjoy doing alone! Anyway...at the end of the class, the speaker told us that if he could suggest one specific discipline that everyone needs to have it’d be to preach the gospel to ourselves everyday, even multiple times throughout the day.

Then it hit me.

I had been so distant from God the past couple weeks, being preoccupied with papers, projects, stresses, and just everyday life stuff. While I was still playing worship on Sundays, leading youth small groups on Wednesdays, and going to college bible study, I wasn’t taking any time to spend with just God. I may have been honoring God with some of my time, but I was not giving Him His time. Now looking back on the past couple of weeks, I can see it clearly.

I can see how God kept showing me His love, and I didn’t soak it in. I may have given a quick ‘thanks’ and moved on, but that was it. I’ve been so absorbed with my own life, that I forgot about His.

I forgot about the gospel.

I forgot that I don’t have to prove myself to anyone, or be prefect for anyone, which I really struggle with on any average day. I was so caught up in trying to prove myself to my professors and stressing about my projects not being good enough. Then on top of that I was in a few different situations that left me feeling like a nut case! But in those situations I saw God was moving tremendously. And through that I can now see He was calling myself to Him.

I was reading a book before the end of my last quarter of college called “Jesus + Nothing = Everything.” But when life started getting busy, I stopped reading it. But it was basically about preaching yourself the gospel everyday and what that looks like.

(Sometimes I feel like God just laughs at me when I figure all this out...I’m pretty sure He does actually.)

So anyway...

All this hit me the most when I was driving home from the mini convention and a song by Barlow Girl was on. (Yeah...I was bored with my cd’s and decided to check out what was in my 10 disc cd changer in my trunk from 2,000 years ago. That’s what’s up!) The chorus of the song that caught my attention goes like this:

“My God’s enough for me.
This world has nothing I need.
In this whole life I’ve seen my God’s enough for me.”

Then a line in the second verse says:
“Cover my eyes now, so that my heart can finally see
that in the end only You mean anything.”

As I was listening, I couldn’t think of anything more true than my God being enough for me. I was trying to be something by doing as well as I could on my projects, while in the end, they were still nothing like what I’d hoped they would be. And now school is over, and the projects mean nothing to me anymore. I’ll never see my professors again (hopefully), and they’ve probably forgotten about me already. So all the time I spent stressing and worrying instead of focusing on or honoring God was pointless.

Jesus + Success = Everything
Jesus +  A+ = Everything
Jesus + Degree = Everything


Fill in the blank for yourself and be honest.

Jesus + __________ = Everything



My prayer recently is that I can remember that Jesus plus nothing equals everything, and that I can preach the gospel to myself daily for the rest of my life!


(Remember how I told you I don't have an ending for this post. Well...I still don't so I'm just going to end with this. Pretend it flows.)

The more I read these words, the more I think of how true they are in my life.

“My God’s enough for me. This world has nothing I need.”



God is all I need and still he gives me the things I think I need or long for most.

Why does He do that!?!

I don't know.

All I know is I am undeserving, yet He freely gives, and I am so thankful.

Dig Deep. (A post about frozen yogurt, cookies, and God.)

Today I’m writing because I was inspired by frozen yogurt. 
 

Well...maybe God inspired me through frozen yogurt....


A couple of weeks ago I attended Spin at Sharptown Church. Spin is a group for kids in 5th and 6th grade. It’s much like a youth group except a little more crazy and unpredictable.

For instance, at the end of Spin, what was supposed to be an organized game turned out into frisbees, footballs, and big spongy balls being thrown everywhere. It was a huge game of catch with multiple objects, but not very many people were catching the items. Anyway, I had a blast. Organized chaos is one of my top favorite things as long as I’m not in charge... which is why I loved it! (I do not want to be the party pooper!)

Once all the chaos was over, we got into lesson time with the kids. One of the leaders asked the question, “What do you imagine God to look like?” 

One kid said a guy dressed in all white...

 (I imagine just like this! haha^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^)

One said praying hands amongst clouds...

And then one girl said a cookie...

                             (If God were to be a cookie, he would most likely have green sun glasses on.)

Everyone immediately asked her why? I would assume because no one else has ever thought of God as a cookie before! 

She went on to say something like... "everyone likes cookies because they taste good and everyone loves God because He is good.”

I can totally understand why a girl her age might think that everyone loves God. I’m sure I thought that too when I was her age. While we know God is good, we also know that the number of people who don’t love God outnumber the people who do love God. 

Then, in my head, I started listing reasons why people do not love or believe in God. 
I came up with things like:

- Unexpected death of a loved one
- Disease
- Financial instability
- Tragedy
- Natural disasters
- Hatred
- Family circumstances
- Abuse
- Debt
- Other: __________________

These are all terrible things that may leave some people asking the question “If there is a God who actually loves and cares for us, why would he let bad things happen?” Often the people asking these questions go to other people searching for answers, and listen with closed hearts and minds when an answer regarding the existence of a god is given.  (This may not always be the case, but sometimes it is!) It may be because they are so full of hatred due to their circumstance or experiences, and have formed some kind of theory that involves any kind of god not existing. Some people don’t want to believe that our Maker is a god who would let bad things happen to “innocent” people. So they may not acknowledge the slightest bit of truth in the given answer involving a god and blow it off with a “that doesn’t make any sense to me” comment. 

If you ever find yourself in a conversation like that, start off your conversation with a prayer and ask God for the words and to open the mind of whomever you’re speaking with, because that is definitely a conversation you’ll need God’s help with!

Totally not the point of this post.

So anyway...

I was eating frozen yogurt the other night (Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked Fro Yo) and I didn’t know until I opened the carton that the ice cream would be half chocolate and half vanilla. The chocolate had brownie in it and the vanilla had cookie dough in it. I cannot tell you how disappointed I was when I saw the chocolate. For some reason, I must have skipped over the words on the front of the container that said “CHOCOLATE and vanilla.” (If you couldn’t tell yet, I’m not the biggest fan of chocolate ice cream.) Sometimes when I get excited I only see the things I want to see. I know I was excited there was cookie dough frozen yogurt, so I must have skipped over all the other words in the description of the ice cream until I saw the words “cookie dough” on the front.  

You’d think I would have learned from this common mistake of mine...but I haven’t yet.

But I started eating the ice cream anyway, and scooped through and forced down the chocolate part. I wasn’t going to waste it since I just bought it. Plus, I knew there was cookie dough in there somewhere. Turns out there wasn’t as much cookie dough as there were brownies (which was within the chocolate ice cream). BUT every time I found a piece of cookie dough it was amazing. I think enduring the stupid brownie bites made the cookie dough SOOOOOOOOO much better. It was seriously so good! And once the pint was gone (over the period of a couple days...) I wanted more! Even tho most of the ice cream sucked, there were those couple awesome bites that made eating the rest of the pint worth it. So I went to WAWA and bought another pint of the Fro Yo to endure the nasty chocolate so I could get a couple tastes of the cookie dough out of it.

If you haven’t yet figured out how I’m going to relate frozen yogurt, to God, I guess I’ll tell you.

God is the cookie dough.

Chocolate is the crap in our lives. The stuff no one wants to deal with, but is always there. It’s the stuff that turns people away from the idea of a god.

Maybe someone else who wanted cookie dough frozen yogurt, and also hated chocolate ice cream, bought the same Fro Yo I did, but threw it away when they saw there was chocolate in it. Maybe they didn’t realize how amazing the cookie dough was, because they’ve never tasted the cookie dough in Ben and Jerry’s before. So they didn’t  give the cookie dough a chance because the chocolate turned them away.

If we throw away our frozen yogurt and never scoop through and endure the nasty chocolate, we will never experience the cookie dough. And the cookie dough is SO GOOD!

So in conclusion, I think what the little girl from Spin meant to say was God is the cookie
...dough.

Everyone loves the cookie dough and hates the chocolate. And some people choose to eat through the chocolate to find the dough, while others throw it all away and never buy that brand of ice cream again, because they’re so angry they wasted four dollars on the pint for nothing.

(I know some of you probably love chocolate and maybe hate cookie dough, but for the sake of this example, pretend you don’t like chocolate!)

If you search for the cookie dough with your whole spoon, not just on the surface of the  frozen yogurt, but throughout the whole pint, I promise you’ll find it. It’s in there.

Dig deep.

 

Your Kingdom Come (youth group missions trip part 2)

As you may know from my previous post, I was on a missions trip in New Jersey. We were doing some Hurricane Sandy clean up. Even tho the hurricane happened last year, there is still a lot of construction and repairs to be done. Last Wednesday we met our home owner Mrs. Ellen and really got to spend some time with her...but I’ll get to that part later...

The past week, some of the Junior High girls and I were put on the task of scrubbing the deck to get the dirt off for it to be stained. Let me list the progression of our days. If you want to skip over it, you can. It’s not important!
Monday
Arrive at house around 9:30ish.
Wait for soap and scrub brushes to clean garage because we forgot them. We start pulling weeds and vines out of the ground while we wait.
11ish- Soap arrives and we start scrubbing the garage.
1230- Lunch
Afternoon- I don’t even remember.

Tuesday
9:30ish- Arrive at house. Empty cabinets in kitchen.
Late morning- Girls leave me alone in the house to wash the deck without a power washer.
Early Afternoon- It’s hot, but there is talk about maybe having a power washer after lunch, so they slack off a bit, feeling like they were only doing busy work.
After Lunch- No power washer. Disappointment sets in for all of us. The sun is out, and we’re all a little over heated.
Afternoon- Katelyn leaves to go to a One Direction concert. (I’m thankful I got to stay scrub the deck.)
Late afternoon- Still no power washer. Some of us are still scrubbing. Others...not so much.
Wednesday
9:30- Power washer!!!!!
9:32- We find out there is no source for water.
10- We wait...and wait. Then we find a source of water!
10:30- It won’t start. But AJ saved us.
11-We run out of gas
11:30-Gas arrives (we needed AJ to help us start the dang thing again)
12- start cleaning up for lunch
After lunch- Walk to the beach
2:15- Get back and start power washing.
2:30- Runs out of gas. AJ fills it but...it won’t start back up.
2:45- Finally starts up.
3- clean up to go home.

As you can see, our week started out very frustrating!
I wanted to get stuff done!!!

However, I want to focus on today (while I’m writing this, it’s Wednesday.), and the work we did for His kingdom, not ours.

Let me tell you how I saw God this week...
On Wednesday we got to meet the homeowner, Mrs Ellen. In the morning, she kind of wandered in and out of the house to see what we were doing, or to just hang out a bit. She is super nice and encouraging, and thankful for us. While Mrs. Ellen was in the house, us girls were kind of standing around not doing much while waiting for the neighbor across the street to return so we could ask permission to use their hose for the power washer. While we were wasting time, the next door neighbor asks what we’re doing, and we tell him we’re waiting. And then he offered his hose to us, so we hooked everything up and got started. 

While one of the girls was power washing, I started to talk to Mrs. Ellen. She was so surprised that that specific neighbor offered his water. When I asked why, she said they haven’t spoken for years and have had arguments in the past. She described  him as mean (which could have been a little biased, I don’t know the guy!) and said they don’t even say hello to one another. That’s when I realized God was working in even the neighbors around us. I know it probably doesn’t seem that awesome and it’s probably a “you had to be there moment,” but even Sarah, our team leader from Team Effort Staff, was in complete shock he let us use his water. 

God was stirring up some hearts that day!!!

Then after lunch Katie and I were pretty determined to finish power washing the whole deck so tomorrow we could start staining it. BUT,  Mrs. Ellen wanted to take a walk to the beach with the group. At first, I told Sarah that Katie and I would stay behind to finish washing the deck, but Sarah strongly encouraged both of us to spend time with the homeowner. I was extremely hesitant, because I wanted to finish the deck and at that point I had felt like I was getting nothing done that I had come on the trip to do. I guess I was being pretty selfish at that point, because I wanted to feel like I actually did something. But God had other plans.

Better plans.

Katie and I gave in and went on the walk. I’m so glad I went.

Here’s why...
While walking, Mrs. Ellen started to tell us about the destruction that occurred during the storm. About all the sand in the streets, and the wind and rising waters during the hurricane. As we were walking we started to see some houses that were abandoned because insurance wouldn’t cover their repairs, or the repairs were too much to handle.  There was even one completely empty plot of land. It looked like the house was just torn down. We got to hear about how sand filled the streets and yards, and about how bulldozers came and pushed the sand back to the beach with whatever else was in the sand that was on the streets. Mrs. Ellen was very talkative, answering all of our questions about the storm and flooding. At one point Sarah asked Mrs. Ellen if she was alright walking, or if she wanted to turn back. I could tell Mrs. Ellen didn’t want to go home by the way she ignored Sarah’s question. It made me chuckle!

When we got closer to the beach, we could see the destruction for ourselves. The wall of one house looked like it had been ripped off. We could see right inside the house. Right at the start of the beach was a huge hill of sand from when the bulldozers pushed the sand out of the street.

Mrs. Ellen stopped to talk with us a bit, and then she said she’d love to be able to get up the hill to see the beach again. She used to love walking and seeing the beach, but now in her old age it’s hard for her. Jason (another youth leader) offered to help her climb the hill. She took him up on the offer pretty quickly.
With one arm in Jason’s and the other in Sarah’s, Mrs. Ellen climbed the hill very slowly.
When she made it to the top, the kids were already down by the water jumping in it with their shoes on...I’m still trying to figure out why they didn’t take them off, because later I had to yell at two of the girls for walking in the street without their shoes on. And they’re reply was “Ugh, but they’re wet.” I don’t understand the logic of junior highers, but I love them so much!

Anyway...
While the kids were playing in the water, and AJ was searching for scrap metal and creatures, Mrs. Ellen started talking to Jason, Sarah, Katie and I about how she knows that God sent us to her. She told us how she was living with no furnace during the winter. About how she had a stroke in January after the storm. About how she tried to get people to work on her house, but it was way too much money. She told us about how right when she was going to just give up, she received the phone call from Gateway church (the church Team Effort (the missions organization we went with) partners with) and they offered to help her with her house. Then she started talking about how she knows God is real. She told us a story about how she used to take care of cats (which she still does) and how one that was dying ran away. She said she prayed to God that He would bring the cat back, not so she could have him, but so that it wouldn’t die alone. She said when she got back the very same day, the cat was on her doorstep. You could see how much this cat returning meant to her. She said she felt God’s presence that day. 

Once we were getting ready to leave, Jason asked her if we could pray for her. She said of course. Little did I know that I was ready to burst into tears. Once Jason started thanking God for the day, and the accomplishments that Mrs. Ellen and the rest of the group made that day, I began trying to force back tears. My eyes were watering because I was so thankful. So thankful that Sarah made me go to the beach! Soooooo thankful to see God work in that way!

Then chapel later that night started off with “site sharing stories” like we did every night. After one person went, Jason got up to share. I was like great...I knew exactly what he was going to talk about because it impacted all of us so much. Jason didn’t even make it to the stage before I started fighting the tears again. Once he started talking I was done. Ashley Jirik was sitting next to me (a junior higher going into seventh grade) and she saw me crying and started wiping tears off my face as she was fighting back tears herself. It was awesome. Only because I can see God working in her life as well. At that moment, I knew she understood the impact that we had on Mrs. Ellen because of Jesus.

The rest of the night was awesome except for the fact that every time I tried to open my mouth, tears would come out of my eyes instead! Then Jeremy (our new youth director) made fun of me during small group because I was laughing and crying at the same time as I was trying to tell the story...Then I quit the story because it just wasn’t happening. It wasn’t that important anyway. It really wasn’t even sad! I couldn’t control myself!!! He proceeded to later tell me it was the weirdest thing ever. Thanks Jeremy. 

That night Jason came up with the idea to buy Mrs. Ellen a record player. We decided to do this because she said she had a record of the book Job from the bible. However, her record player broke during the storm. She told us how she loved listening to that record and how the story of Job helped her through the storm. The next day we gave it to her. Two of the junior high girls helped her set it up. They said her face lit up and she had a HUGE smile on her face when the record started playing. I wish I could have experienced that with them! 

The rest of the week went awesome. And our Junior High girls were amazing. They prayed together, did devotions together, shared their struggles with each other...all on their own!!! No one asked them to do those things, but they did! God is working in those girls so much. It excites the crap out of me! I cannot wait to see where God takes the kids in sharptown youth group. They are all wonderful and make my life 1,000 times more fun! I think I see God the most through them, and I am so thankful for every single one of them. I can’t tell you how much I love those kids. I’m pretty sure all 20 of us youth leaders feel the same exact way as well!

The biggest thing I learned from the weekend is that I have to focus more on God's kingdom, and not the kingdom of this world. I was so focused on trying to get work done on the house, that I almost missed out on sharing, praying, and glorifying God thru conversation with Mrs. Ellen. 

God had a different plan for the week than I had.

And His was so much better!

I am so thankful.

-Erika

"What about me?" (missions trip part 1)

This week I am on a missions trip with Sharptown youth group (which I love so much btw). This trip is basically right in our back yard. It really is a shame that I haven’t done something sooner to help Hurricane Sandy victims in some way. These people only live about 2 hours from my home (in South Jersey), and I’ve always pushed off doing something because is wasn’t “my problem.” 
As I was thinking about this, I started wondering about what “my problems” are.  And I came up with about three things... school work, student loans, and finding a job to pay off the loans. 
Thinking about these things while standing in a 70 year old, Christian lady’s home who lives alone with several cats (that she rescued during the storm) on the second floor of her house, because there was 20 inches of water that destroyed the first floor, as well as her car and everything in the garage, put a new twist on my thoughts.

How have I never thought about this as my problem before?

As followers of Christ, we’re supposed to “bear one another’s burdens” to fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2). Our home owner who is 70 years old, is also a believer. 

Why haven’t I been bearing this burden of hers a long time ago?

In the book of Acts, shortly after Pentecost, the church was described as very giving. Acts 2:45 says, “And they were selling their belongings and possessions, distributing their proceeds to all, as any had need.” And then it goes on to say these things were done with glad and generous hearts.
I have a lot of things this 70 year old homeowner needs. Like water. Food. Money. Clothes. Shoes. Safety. Shelter. A Job. A Car. Education. Life Insurance. (Seriously...life insurance? Don’t even get me started on that one. Just throw me off a boat. It won’t hurt. I’m dead anyway.)

But listing these things and then thinking about how some people in other countries have to walk 2 miles a day in the heat to get clean drinking water for their families. Or thinking about how some people in other countries, and in our country, don’t know when or how they’ll get their next meal. Or don’t know if they’ll have somewhere safe to sleep at night, or if they have anywhere to sleep at all. Thinking about these things make me realize how insignificant my problems should be to me, and how I should be focused more on others. I don’t mean I shouldn’t do my school work, or pay my bills. I still have to prep for those things. I'm not sure how to explain it, but it's a feeling that hopefully you understand!

I know God will provide.

This makes me realize I have so much more than I need. I knew this before, but maybe now the realization is “What do I do with all this stuff? How do I help? Who can I help? Who is in need? What is my problem?”

Bear each other’s burdens.

That doesn’t mean I should watch a fellow believer struggle, and then say “Awe, I feel so bad.” and then walk away. I would have actually just made no difference at all in that persons life. I only said that to make myself okay with walking away without doing anything to help that person.
 
What do we do about fellow Christ followers in Haiti who depend on God for meals?
Do we ignore it and pretend like it’s not happening?
 
What do we do about the street kids who have no warm clothes in Africa and sleep wherever they can at night?

What do we do about the children who are being abducted from their homes and forced to kill others and fight in a war they want no part of?

All these examples are different, but they’re all fellow believers in need of something. Whether its guidance, love, wisdom, water, money, or food.

Maybe you can’t afford to sponsor a child, 
but I know you can pray. 
Maybe you can’t take a trip to Africa to love on some street kids and participate in a VBS program, but I know you can pray. 
Maybe you can’t protect all the children being forced into a war, 
BUT...I know you can pray.

Praying leads to so many things...
Opportunities will open up for you, and you may find one cause you are overwhelmingly compassionate about. It might be a problem in Africa, or right in New Jersey. But wherever it is, I encourage you to find it and make a difference in one life, or a million lives. 

And that is possible through prayer.

It may seem like a small thing to us sometimes, but if it’s God’s will, it will be answered. We have Jesus Christ on our side, who says “If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.” (John 14:14)

I know the passion God has put in my heart. I know what I need to do. I know what I have to give up in my life to pursue this and help those in need. My prayer is that you find yours too.


FYI
Tomorrow, we are gutting our home owners whole kitchen. This lady spent the whole winter in her house with no furnace and she’s been living in this home with no running water since Sandy hit. This lady is a trooper. She didn’t give up, and I don’t think she will anytime soon, even after recently being diagnosed with COPD. And she gives God all the glory for her survival. I haven’t had the privilege to meet this lady yet, but our team leader, Sarah, says she always says how she couldn’t have gotten through it without God.
I will post more soon!




-Erika

What's Missing?

“Your eyes are searching the earth. The groom’s eyes are searching for her.” -Shane and Shane

A couple weekends ago, I had the amazing privilege to attend a girls retreat with some of my best friends. So many amazing memories were made! The title of the retreat was called Obsessed. It was based on a six week bible study written by Hayley DiMarco. The study was about being obsessed with the “things” in our life. Whether that is love, worry, fear, your laptop, cutting, drinking, shopping, or success.  It was convicting and hard to hear, but it was so good! The last session was about being obsessed with God, who is the only one who can give you joy. 

The one thing that I kept seeing was that all the things I mentioned earlier that some of us may be obsessed with, or consumed by, only leaves us feeling more and more empty when we don’t constantly have these things. If I am obsessed with “stuff”, I will always want the most recent iphone and I won’t be satisfied until I get it. Or if I’m obsessed with love and being loved, I won’t be happy when my boyfriend leaves my house to go home. It may leave me feeling lonely. And when we break up, I may feel worthless and empty until I find someone else to love. OR the more I shop and feel the excitement of buying new things, the more I want to shop to feel content. All these things leave us wanting more in an unhealthy way. Being obsessed with shopping may put us in debt. Yes, we may feel full at the time of our purchases, but when we become obsessed with that feeling we may always want to buy things all the time to keep us feeling sustained. AND America has made this so easy for us because of credit cards and online shopping!
    
 Anyway...

After things like this kept coming up throughout our study, it became hard for me to think about why we don’t already know these things. We can look into the lives of celebrities or even our friends and neighbors and see it well. For instance, Justin Bieber... This kid is loved by so many girls, he has a lot of money and talent, and gets to do what he loves everyday of his life. Okay, so with that being said, why is he doing drugs? Why is he doing self destructive things? Why is he searching elsewhere for fulfillment? He has everything he has ever dreamed of, and there is still something missing for him and he is trying to numb or avoid the emptiness he is feeling.   

Imagine being on stage in front of thousands of people who are cheering and screaming your name, and singing along to the lyrics that you wrote. Then imagine walking off stage after your show is over and you feel absolutely amazing, like nothing can stop you. After that, you get escorted back to your tour bus through crazy fans who are screaming your name, and you love every second of it! After this happens night after night for a while, you start to get tired of it. Your highs are becoming higher while your lows get lower. You want life to be a high all the time. And now when you walk off the stage. You’re dreading the walk back to your tour bus because you know it won’t last. The feeling wears off quicker and you feel more alone than ever once you get to your bus. So you look somewhere else for fulfillment while you’re not on stage. And when you can’t find fulfillment, you look for something to numb the pain.

I am not saying this is exactly what happened to Justin Bieber, nor am I trying to bash him at all!  The kid has talent. I was just using him as an example.  BUT so many artist have overdosed on drugs or try to numb pain with alcohol or sex. I’ve always wondered why.  They’re living the dream, become hooked on drugs, and then overdose or go crazy? 

Why?

What’s missing?

We see it all the time with artists. But yet, so many of us dream of being actors or singers because we see all the money they make or all the attention they get.

The lives of these celebrities should be clear examples to us that money and attention isn’t everything. 

What’s missing? 

What have they done wrong? 

Where can they go? 

Is it even possible to be fulfilled all the time? 

Here is my observation:
They are searching this world for things to fill them and this world has nothing fulfilling in it that will last, because this kingdom is the devil’s! We see this in the bible in Matthew 4:8-9 when Jesus is being tempted by the Satan:

“Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you bow down and worship me.”
 
Satan tried to tempt Jesus with all of the things of this world, but Jesus knew there was something better waiting for him. There is nothing in this world that will make us satisfied all the time. We have to look for a kingdom not of this world, and seek after it earnestly with all of our hearts, and we will find it and be satisfied. 

Look at the lives of the people around you. Look at your own life. 

What do you enjoy? 

What do you hate? 

Did you think life was going to be something amazing once you reached your goal, and then when you reached your goal it was like nothing changed? Or did you or someone you know reach their goal, and then after a while the feeling wore off and they felt more down than ever before because their goal wasn’t all they thought it’d be? 

Sometimes we put our hope in our dreams. 

Sometimes we put our hope in people. 

Sometimes we put our hope in things. 

All the while hoping we’ll be satisfied by them, but putting our hope in these worldly things will not   ever last. 

EVER.

If we put our hope in Jesus, we’ll never be disappointed because He’ll never fail us.
He is all we need, and He wants us!

While our eyes are searching the earth, Jesus is searching for us. Trying to get our attention through the things that have failed us. He finds us in our failed attempts to find ourselves, and will love us no matter how long we ignore Him calling our names.


We can try to ignore Him all we want, but our hearts know the truth.