I know a guy.
He and his wife are building a boat.
A 40 foot catamaran with four bedrooms and two bathrooms.
This past weekend I was at One Mission Society where I will be interning in February for four months while working with their human trafficking prevention ministry called Hope61.
I went to Indiana this weekend to a small, but awesome, missions conference OMS puts on twice a year. My friend Jess and I went last year, so we already had an idea of what to expect. However, the three other girls that came with us didn’t have too much information on it, but they came anyway and they are so thankful they did!
This weekend at OMS was all about how God speaks, recognizing fears, overcoming fears, and surrender. Surrender became a HUGE part of the weekend, to the point where the facilitation team felt the Holy Spirit leading them to change up the schedule. So on Sunday morning (our last day at the conference) we had a time of being able to step out into the middle of the room and pray.
By that I mean this...
All 40 of us formed a big circle in the room. A facilitator, Patrick, guided our time of prayer and surrender. He had a list of things people may have needed to surrender to God. Whether it was surrendering the want of a family, surrendering control, surrendering thoughts, surrendering dreams, surrendering habits, or surrendering pain, hurt, or abuse. There were a lot of other things on the list too, including miscellaneous! Patrick categorized the list into similar sections and read the specific sections off. When he was done reading the list, everyone who needed to surrender to something in that section (or similar to something in that section) stepped into the middle of the room and formed a circle. Those who didn’t step into the middle stood around the outside of the inner circle. The inner circle then shared what they were surrendering, and the outer circle prayed for them. It was so intense and so good! At one point people were reading scripture, while others were singing, and others were praying out loud. I’ve never experienced anything like it. It was awesome and the devil was angry! People were surrendering so much hurt and pain and being so open about it that I couldn’t help but just cry. I was happy to see people listening to the Holy Spirit and being guided by Him in ways I’d never seen before.
It was so cool to see the Holy Spirit guiding the facilitation team to lead a time of surrender. I love that they didn’t care about schedules or ruining plans. God had something so much bigger planned and the facilitation team knew it! UGH, it was so awesome!
Anyway, that’s not the point of this post at all.
LOL.
Let me get started!
During the weekend, Patrick told us a story about Jesus. About how He turned water into wine. If you know anything about the bible, you’ve probably heard or read about this miracle Jesus performed.
It goes something like this:
There was a wedding.
They ran out of wine during the after party (which was three days later).
Jesus was there with his crew.
Jesus’s mom was like, “Son, make some more wine since you’re good at making something out of nothing. You inherited that skill for your father, not me.”
Jesus’s response was kind of like “Ugh, mind your business!”
His mom bossed some people around.
Jesus told the servants to fill up six 20-30 gallon washing jugs with water.
They did.
Jesus said, “Take some of that gross stuff out of the jugs and take it to the guy in charge.”
So they did.
The boss man drank what the servants gave him. (Which is what was usually used as foot washing water.)
He loved it.
He then took aside the bridegroom and commended him on saving the best stuff for last.
(If you want the real, more accurate version, you should probably read it yourself in John 2:1-11.)
During the weekend, we had a session that was about finding what barriers we feel we’ll face, or are facing, while pursuing our call into missions. We had to right down the things we were afraid of or holding us back, and confront them with what they really mean. For instance, a couple of my fears included fund-raising, paying off student loans, getting my diabetic supplies while on the missions field, and being lonely. Turns out, the root of all of those things is me being afraid that God cannot provide me with what I need for what He’s calling me to do.
Simple.
During my quiet time on Sunday morning I was confronting these things. My biggest concern at the time was my student loans. I’m stressed about them and haven’t even started to pay them off yet! I was talking through with God about the loans, asking Him questions full of worry. I knew God had called me to missions, but I wasn’t sure of how I’d get on the missions field with all the payments I’ll need to start making soon. So after I was done asking all my questions I finally shut up for a few minutes. Then God said, “Erika, if you had no loans to pay back would you be willing to apply to be a missionary tomorrow?”
I thought about it for a second. Then with relief I said “NOOOOOO! I wouldn’t!!!!”
I had always thought my debt was holding me back, but I think it’s more of the loneliness barrier that I have to overcome. I would be scared to death to go on the missions field alone. I want to be married (I can wait on the kids part) before I leave the country. I’d want my best friend to come with me. Someone who I could share my life with and my worries of the day with. Someone who knows me and knows what I need!
After I thought about it and let it all out (it felt like something I was hiding deep down inside forever!) I became silent again.
First God responded with “I am enough.”
Then He lead me to Psalm 68:6, which says “God sets the lonely in families...”
That was all I needed. It was a reminder to me of what God has provided me with already. I have a great family and an awesome church family. Both who love and support me in the paths that God is leading me down. Why should I think God wouldn’t provide me with the perfect family in another country? Whether it’s a husband, or a church family who will take me in. God knows my deepest desires and cares about them too.
I then thought of the story Patrick told us about Jesus and the wine. Jesus made soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much wine. It was over 120 gallons total. Who needs that? It was either a huge wedding, or God wanted to show that He can provide and that He can provide generously even with things that we may thing aren't important to God. But what I didn't realize about this story before was how it shows that God does care about the things we care about. God cares about our happiness, our satisfaction, our deepest desires. He cares about us so deeply.
Through this story and my time spent with Him, God was showing me that when the time is right my loans will get paid off and He will provide me with my funds. He was basically telling me not to worry or focus on that now. Right now He wants me to wait.
Rachel, Patrick’s wife, was telling one of the girls that sometimes God doesn’t tell us where to go or what to do because He wants us to draw closer to Him and spend time getting to know Him so He can prepare us for our journeys. She spoke words of truth into my life even tho she wasn’t speaking directly to me! She said when God gives us a task, we normally just do, do, do to accomplish it. Rachel explained that this is sometimes why God is silent. So we can take a moment to breathe deeply and slow down with Him. During my quiet time, God assured me His timing is perfect and that while I’m paying off my loans to make it practical for me to go into missions, He will be preparing my heart, and the hearts I will meet, as well as the hearts I will become friends with while I’m on the missions field. God is going to provide me with all I need for what He calls me to.
Same goes for you.
Same goes for my friend Patrick and His wife Rachel.
They’re building a boat.
They’re going to sail around the world on this boat with their two young children.
The boat is going to aid them in encouraging Christians around the world who are being persecuted because of their faith.
They’re stepping out into the unknown.
All they know is God WILL provide.
“There is no greater safety than living inside the will of our God.”
2 Chronicles 20:15 - "...For the battle is not yours, but God's."
Romans 8:31 - "If God is for us, who could be against us?"
(That is supposed to be the end of my blog post, but I really want to tell you about where God is leading me! I am definitely doing the internship with OMS for four months, which will start in February. Directly after that I am going to start looking for a job. One that I can make a decent living off of! I want to give God room to work in paying my loans back and I realize this could take about 10-15 years. So in the meantime, I’m going to learn how to speak Spanish and hopefully get a bible certificate. I just bought a legit Spanish learning program! I figured I’ve got some time to learn to speak a language or two while I’m waiting. After about five years, or until I have a good amount of money saved up, I’d like to do something called eXtremeWalk through OMS. This is about a year long commitment. It consists of cultural training (learning the language, culture, and how to disciple in the culture) for about three months and then about seven months on the field to do some church planting and discipling. Then when I get back, I’ll find another job. About two years before my loans are paid off, I’d like to start raising support to wherever God is calling me for a four year commitment. Now mind you, none of these ideas are set in stone. It’s just a brief little dream-like timeline of where I’d like to be in the next 15 years and what I’d like to do during those years. If Patrick can build a boat, I can dream a little too! I also want to say my mind is not closed to anything else God may put in my path or lead me too!)
We had a great time over the weekend at OMS! Thank you for your prayers. God spoke to each one of us!
P.S. Please pray for Patrick and Rachel! For provision, safety, and peace.
Here is there blog to stay updated on their progress if you're interested!
http://coolwhipfam.wordpress.com/
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