Everything.

I wasn’t quite sure on how to start this post off. I don’t have a beginning, middle, or end to it yet. All I know is the topic that’s been on my heart the past couple of days.

My God is enough for me.

Everything (about this topic pertaining to my life) kind of hit me all at once the other week as I was driving home from a mini youth leader conference...

It so simple to think that God is enough, but to live it is sometimes not as simple.
So often my heart thinks it wants things. Things that are not God. Just things.

Things.

While my head knows God is enough, sometimes my heart forgets. I want to run to old habits when things get tough, or stressful, or when I feel alone, or misunderstood. Sometimes I want to go to things of this world. I think a lot of us may feel this way sometimes or maybe all the time. We may try to rid ourselves of ‘negative’ emotions by something like shopping or drinking. Something to push our feelings aside for what may even be a moment.

With that being said (at this mini youth conference I went to) I attended a class that turned out to be awesome. One of the things the speaker asked us was to come up with one spiritual discipline we could have for the rest of our lives. I said memorization, mainly because I forget everything. I’d love to be able to memorize scripture and enjoy doing it. But it’s something that I really do not enjoy doing alone! Anyway...at the end of the class, the speaker told us that if he could suggest one specific discipline that everyone needs to have it’d be to preach the gospel to ourselves everyday, even multiple times throughout the day.

Then it hit me.

I had been so distant from God the past couple weeks, being preoccupied with papers, projects, stresses, and just everyday life stuff. While I was still playing worship on Sundays, leading youth small groups on Wednesdays, and going to college bible study, I wasn’t taking any time to spend with just God. I may have been honoring God with some of my time, but I was not giving Him His time. Now looking back on the past couple of weeks, I can see it clearly.

I can see how God kept showing me His love, and I didn’t soak it in. I may have given a quick ‘thanks’ and moved on, but that was it. I’ve been so absorbed with my own life, that I forgot about His.

I forgot about the gospel.

I forgot that I don’t have to prove myself to anyone, or be prefect for anyone, which I really struggle with on any average day. I was so caught up in trying to prove myself to my professors and stressing about my projects not being good enough. Then on top of that I was in a few different situations that left me feeling like a nut case! But in those situations I saw God was moving tremendously. And through that I can now see He was calling myself to Him.

I was reading a book before the end of my last quarter of college called “Jesus + Nothing = Everything.” But when life started getting busy, I stopped reading it. But it was basically about preaching yourself the gospel everyday and what that looks like.

(Sometimes I feel like God just laughs at me when I figure all this out...I’m pretty sure He does actually.)

So anyway...

All this hit me the most when I was driving home from the mini convention and a song by Barlow Girl was on. (Yeah...I was bored with my cd’s and decided to check out what was in my 10 disc cd changer in my trunk from 2,000 years ago. That’s what’s up!) The chorus of the song that caught my attention goes like this:

“My God’s enough for me.
This world has nothing I need.
In this whole life I’ve seen my God’s enough for me.”

Then a line in the second verse says:
“Cover my eyes now, so that my heart can finally see
that in the end only You mean anything.”

As I was listening, I couldn’t think of anything more true than my God being enough for me. I was trying to be something by doing as well as I could on my projects, while in the end, they were still nothing like what I’d hoped they would be. And now school is over, and the projects mean nothing to me anymore. I’ll never see my professors again (hopefully), and they’ve probably forgotten about me already. So all the time I spent stressing and worrying instead of focusing on or honoring God was pointless.

Jesus + Success = Everything
Jesus +  A+ = Everything
Jesus + Degree = Everything


Fill in the blank for yourself and be honest.

Jesus + __________ = Everything



My prayer recently is that I can remember that Jesus plus nothing equals everything, and that I can preach the gospel to myself daily for the rest of my life!


(Remember how I told you I don't have an ending for this post. Well...I still don't so I'm just going to end with this. Pretend it flows.)

The more I read these words, the more I think of how true they are in my life.

“My God’s enough for me. This world has nothing I need.”



God is all I need and still he gives me the things I think I need or long for most.

Why does He do that!?!

I don't know.

All I know is I am undeserving, yet He freely gives, and I am so thankful.

Dig Deep. (A post about frozen yogurt, cookies, and God.)

Today I’m writing because I was inspired by frozen yogurt. 
 

Well...maybe God inspired me through frozen yogurt....


A couple of weeks ago I attended Spin at Sharptown Church. Spin is a group for kids in 5th and 6th grade. It’s much like a youth group except a little more crazy and unpredictable.

For instance, at the end of Spin, what was supposed to be an organized game turned out into frisbees, footballs, and big spongy balls being thrown everywhere. It was a huge game of catch with multiple objects, but not very many people were catching the items. Anyway, I had a blast. Organized chaos is one of my top favorite things as long as I’m not in charge... which is why I loved it! (I do not want to be the party pooper!)

Once all the chaos was over, we got into lesson time with the kids. One of the leaders asked the question, “What do you imagine God to look like?” 

One kid said a guy dressed in all white...

 (I imagine just like this! haha^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^)

One said praying hands amongst clouds...

And then one girl said a cookie...

                             (If God were to be a cookie, he would most likely have green sun glasses on.)

Everyone immediately asked her why? I would assume because no one else has ever thought of God as a cookie before! 

She went on to say something like... "everyone likes cookies because they taste good and everyone loves God because He is good.”

I can totally understand why a girl her age might think that everyone loves God. I’m sure I thought that too when I was her age. While we know God is good, we also know that the number of people who don’t love God outnumber the people who do love God. 

Then, in my head, I started listing reasons why people do not love or believe in God. 
I came up with things like:

- Unexpected death of a loved one
- Disease
- Financial instability
- Tragedy
- Natural disasters
- Hatred
- Family circumstances
- Abuse
- Debt
- Other: __________________

These are all terrible things that may leave some people asking the question “If there is a God who actually loves and cares for us, why would he let bad things happen?” Often the people asking these questions go to other people searching for answers, and listen with closed hearts and minds when an answer regarding the existence of a god is given.  (This may not always be the case, but sometimes it is!) It may be because they are so full of hatred due to their circumstance or experiences, and have formed some kind of theory that involves any kind of god not existing. Some people don’t want to believe that our Maker is a god who would let bad things happen to “innocent” people. So they may not acknowledge the slightest bit of truth in the given answer involving a god and blow it off with a “that doesn’t make any sense to me” comment. 

If you ever find yourself in a conversation like that, start off your conversation with a prayer and ask God for the words and to open the mind of whomever you’re speaking with, because that is definitely a conversation you’ll need God’s help with!

Totally not the point of this post.

So anyway...

I was eating frozen yogurt the other night (Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked Fro Yo) and I didn’t know until I opened the carton that the ice cream would be half chocolate and half vanilla. The chocolate had brownie in it and the vanilla had cookie dough in it. I cannot tell you how disappointed I was when I saw the chocolate. For some reason, I must have skipped over the words on the front of the container that said “CHOCOLATE and vanilla.” (If you couldn’t tell yet, I’m not the biggest fan of chocolate ice cream.) Sometimes when I get excited I only see the things I want to see. I know I was excited there was cookie dough frozen yogurt, so I must have skipped over all the other words in the description of the ice cream until I saw the words “cookie dough” on the front.  

You’d think I would have learned from this common mistake of mine...but I haven’t yet.

But I started eating the ice cream anyway, and scooped through and forced down the chocolate part. I wasn’t going to waste it since I just bought it. Plus, I knew there was cookie dough in there somewhere. Turns out there wasn’t as much cookie dough as there were brownies (which was within the chocolate ice cream). BUT every time I found a piece of cookie dough it was amazing. I think enduring the stupid brownie bites made the cookie dough SOOOOOOOOO much better. It was seriously so good! And once the pint was gone (over the period of a couple days...) I wanted more! Even tho most of the ice cream sucked, there were those couple awesome bites that made eating the rest of the pint worth it. So I went to WAWA and bought another pint of the Fro Yo to endure the nasty chocolate so I could get a couple tastes of the cookie dough out of it.

If you haven’t yet figured out how I’m going to relate frozen yogurt, to God, I guess I’ll tell you.

God is the cookie dough.

Chocolate is the crap in our lives. The stuff no one wants to deal with, but is always there. It’s the stuff that turns people away from the idea of a god.

Maybe someone else who wanted cookie dough frozen yogurt, and also hated chocolate ice cream, bought the same Fro Yo I did, but threw it away when they saw there was chocolate in it. Maybe they didn’t realize how amazing the cookie dough was, because they’ve never tasted the cookie dough in Ben and Jerry’s before. So they didn’t  give the cookie dough a chance because the chocolate turned them away.

If we throw away our frozen yogurt and never scoop through and endure the nasty chocolate, we will never experience the cookie dough. And the cookie dough is SO GOOD!

So in conclusion, I think what the little girl from Spin meant to say was God is the cookie
...dough.

Everyone loves the cookie dough and hates the chocolate. And some people choose to eat through the chocolate to find the dough, while others throw it all away and never buy that brand of ice cream again, because they’re so angry they wasted four dollars on the pint for nothing.

(I know some of you probably love chocolate and maybe hate cookie dough, but for the sake of this example, pretend you don’t like chocolate!)

If you search for the cookie dough with your whole spoon, not just on the surface of the  frozen yogurt, but throughout the whole pint, I promise you’ll find it. It’s in there.

Dig deep.

 

Your Kingdom Come (youth group missions trip part 2)

As you may know from my previous post, I was on a missions trip in New Jersey. We were doing some Hurricane Sandy clean up. Even tho the hurricane happened last year, there is still a lot of construction and repairs to be done. Last Wednesday we met our home owner Mrs. Ellen and really got to spend some time with her...but I’ll get to that part later...

The past week, some of the Junior High girls and I were put on the task of scrubbing the deck to get the dirt off for it to be stained. Let me list the progression of our days. If you want to skip over it, you can. It’s not important!
Monday
Arrive at house around 9:30ish.
Wait for soap and scrub brushes to clean garage because we forgot them. We start pulling weeds and vines out of the ground while we wait.
11ish- Soap arrives and we start scrubbing the garage.
1230- Lunch
Afternoon- I don’t even remember.

Tuesday
9:30ish- Arrive at house. Empty cabinets in kitchen.
Late morning- Girls leave me alone in the house to wash the deck without a power washer.
Early Afternoon- It’s hot, but there is talk about maybe having a power washer after lunch, so they slack off a bit, feeling like they were only doing busy work.
After Lunch- No power washer. Disappointment sets in for all of us. The sun is out, and we’re all a little over heated.
Afternoon- Katelyn leaves to go to a One Direction concert. (I’m thankful I got to stay scrub the deck.)
Late afternoon- Still no power washer. Some of us are still scrubbing. Others...not so much.
Wednesday
9:30- Power washer!!!!!
9:32- We find out there is no source for water.
10- We wait...and wait. Then we find a source of water!
10:30- It won’t start. But AJ saved us.
11-We run out of gas
11:30-Gas arrives (we needed AJ to help us start the dang thing again)
12- start cleaning up for lunch
After lunch- Walk to the beach
2:15- Get back and start power washing.
2:30- Runs out of gas. AJ fills it but...it won’t start back up.
2:45- Finally starts up.
3- clean up to go home.

As you can see, our week started out very frustrating!
I wanted to get stuff done!!!

However, I want to focus on today (while I’m writing this, it’s Wednesday.), and the work we did for His kingdom, not ours.

Let me tell you how I saw God this week...
On Wednesday we got to meet the homeowner, Mrs Ellen. In the morning, she kind of wandered in and out of the house to see what we were doing, or to just hang out a bit. She is super nice and encouraging, and thankful for us. While Mrs. Ellen was in the house, us girls were kind of standing around not doing much while waiting for the neighbor across the street to return so we could ask permission to use their hose for the power washer. While we were wasting time, the next door neighbor asks what we’re doing, and we tell him we’re waiting. And then he offered his hose to us, so we hooked everything up and got started. 

While one of the girls was power washing, I started to talk to Mrs. Ellen. She was so surprised that that specific neighbor offered his water. When I asked why, she said they haven’t spoken for years and have had arguments in the past. She described  him as mean (which could have been a little biased, I don’t know the guy!) and said they don’t even say hello to one another. That’s when I realized God was working in even the neighbors around us. I know it probably doesn’t seem that awesome and it’s probably a “you had to be there moment,” but even Sarah, our team leader from Team Effort Staff, was in complete shock he let us use his water. 

God was stirring up some hearts that day!!!

Then after lunch Katie and I were pretty determined to finish power washing the whole deck so tomorrow we could start staining it. BUT,  Mrs. Ellen wanted to take a walk to the beach with the group. At first, I told Sarah that Katie and I would stay behind to finish washing the deck, but Sarah strongly encouraged both of us to spend time with the homeowner. I was extremely hesitant, because I wanted to finish the deck and at that point I had felt like I was getting nothing done that I had come on the trip to do. I guess I was being pretty selfish at that point, because I wanted to feel like I actually did something. But God had other plans.

Better plans.

Katie and I gave in and went on the walk. I’m so glad I went.

Here’s why...
While walking, Mrs. Ellen started to tell us about the destruction that occurred during the storm. About all the sand in the streets, and the wind and rising waters during the hurricane. As we were walking we started to see some houses that were abandoned because insurance wouldn’t cover their repairs, or the repairs were too much to handle.  There was even one completely empty plot of land. It looked like the house was just torn down. We got to hear about how sand filled the streets and yards, and about how bulldozers came and pushed the sand back to the beach with whatever else was in the sand that was on the streets. Mrs. Ellen was very talkative, answering all of our questions about the storm and flooding. At one point Sarah asked Mrs. Ellen if she was alright walking, or if she wanted to turn back. I could tell Mrs. Ellen didn’t want to go home by the way she ignored Sarah’s question. It made me chuckle!

When we got closer to the beach, we could see the destruction for ourselves. The wall of one house looked like it had been ripped off. We could see right inside the house. Right at the start of the beach was a huge hill of sand from when the bulldozers pushed the sand out of the street.

Mrs. Ellen stopped to talk with us a bit, and then she said she’d love to be able to get up the hill to see the beach again. She used to love walking and seeing the beach, but now in her old age it’s hard for her. Jason (another youth leader) offered to help her climb the hill. She took him up on the offer pretty quickly.
With one arm in Jason’s and the other in Sarah’s, Mrs. Ellen climbed the hill very slowly.
When she made it to the top, the kids were already down by the water jumping in it with their shoes on...I’m still trying to figure out why they didn’t take them off, because later I had to yell at two of the girls for walking in the street without their shoes on. And they’re reply was “Ugh, but they’re wet.” I don’t understand the logic of junior highers, but I love them so much!

Anyway...
While the kids were playing in the water, and AJ was searching for scrap metal and creatures, Mrs. Ellen started talking to Jason, Sarah, Katie and I about how she knows that God sent us to her. She told us how she was living with no furnace during the winter. About how she had a stroke in January after the storm. About how she tried to get people to work on her house, but it was way too much money. She told us about how right when she was going to just give up, she received the phone call from Gateway church (the church Team Effort (the missions organization we went with) partners with) and they offered to help her with her house. Then she started talking about how she knows God is real. She told us a story about how she used to take care of cats (which she still does) and how one that was dying ran away. She said she prayed to God that He would bring the cat back, not so she could have him, but so that it wouldn’t die alone. She said when she got back the very same day, the cat was on her doorstep. You could see how much this cat returning meant to her. She said she felt God’s presence that day. 

Once we were getting ready to leave, Jason asked her if we could pray for her. She said of course. Little did I know that I was ready to burst into tears. Once Jason started thanking God for the day, and the accomplishments that Mrs. Ellen and the rest of the group made that day, I began trying to force back tears. My eyes were watering because I was so thankful. So thankful that Sarah made me go to the beach! Soooooo thankful to see God work in that way!

Then chapel later that night started off with “site sharing stories” like we did every night. After one person went, Jason got up to share. I was like great...I knew exactly what he was going to talk about because it impacted all of us so much. Jason didn’t even make it to the stage before I started fighting the tears again. Once he started talking I was done. Ashley Jirik was sitting next to me (a junior higher going into seventh grade) and she saw me crying and started wiping tears off my face as she was fighting back tears herself. It was awesome. Only because I can see God working in her life as well. At that moment, I knew she understood the impact that we had on Mrs. Ellen because of Jesus.

The rest of the night was awesome except for the fact that every time I tried to open my mouth, tears would come out of my eyes instead! Then Jeremy (our new youth director) made fun of me during small group because I was laughing and crying at the same time as I was trying to tell the story...Then I quit the story because it just wasn’t happening. It wasn’t that important anyway. It really wasn’t even sad! I couldn’t control myself!!! He proceeded to later tell me it was the weirdest thing ever. Thanks Jeremy. 

That night Jason came up with the idea to buy Mrs. Ellen a record player. We decided to do this because she said she had a record of the book Job from the bible. However, her record player broke during the storm. She told us how she loved listening to that record and how the story of Job helped her through the storm. The next day we gave it to her. Two of the junior high girls helped her set it up. They said her face lit up and she had a HUGE smile on her face when the record started playing. I wish I could have experienced that with them! 

The rest of the week went awesome. And our Junior High girls were amazing. They prayed together, did devotions together, shared their struggles with each other...all on their own!!! No one asked them to do those things, but they did! God is working in those girls so much. It excites the crap out of me! I cannot wait to see where God takes the kids in sharptown youth group. They are all wonderful and make my life 1,000 times more fun! I think I see God the most through them, and I am so thankful for every single one of them. I can’t tell you how much I love those kids. I’m pretty sure all 20 of us youth leaders feel the same exact way as well!

The biggest thing I learned from the weekend is that I have to focus more on God's kingdom, and not the kingdom of this world. I was so focused on trying to get work done on the house, that I almost missed out on sharing, praying, and glorifying God thru conversation with Mrs. Ellen. 

God had a different plan for the week than I had.

And His was so much better!

I am so thankful.

-Erika

"What about me?" (missions trip part 1)

This week I am on a missions trip with Sharptown youth group (which I love so much btw). This trip is basically right in our back yard. It really is a shame that I haven’t done something sooner to help Hurricane Sandy victims in some way. These people only live about 2 hours from my home (in South Jersey), and I’ve always pushed off doing something because is wasn’t “my problem.” 
As I was thinking about this, I started wondering about what “my problems” are.  And I came up with about three things... school work, student loans, and finding a job to pay off the loans. 
Thinking about these things while standing in a 70 year old, Christian lady’s home who lives alone with several cats (that she rescued during the storm) on the second floor of her house, because there was 20 inches of water that destroyed the first floor, as well as her car and everything in the garage, put a new twist on my thoughts.

How have I never thought about this as my problem before?

As followers of Christ, we’re supposed to “bear one another’s burdens” to fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2). Our home owner who is 70 years old, is also a believer. 

Why haven’t I been bearing this burden of hers a long time ago?

In the book of Acts, shortly after Pentecost, the church was described as very giving. Acts 2:45 says, “And they were selling their belongings and possessions, distributing their proceeds to all, as any had need.” And then it goes on to say these things were done with glad and generous hearts.
I have a lot of things this 70 year old homeowner needs. Like water. Food. Money. Clothes. Shoes. Safety. Shelter. A Job. A Car. Education. Life Insurance. (Seriously...life insurance? Don’t even get me started on that one. Just throw me off a boat. It won’t hurt. I’m dead anyway.)

But listing these things and then thinking about how some people in other countries have to walk 2 miles a day in the heat to get clean drinking water for their families. Or thinking about how some people in other countries, and in our country, don’t know when or how they’ll get their next meal. Or don’t know if they’ll have somewhere safe to sleep at night, or if they have anywhere to sleep at all. Thinking about these things make me realize how insignificant my problems should be to me, and how I should be focused more on others. I don’t mean I shouldn’t do my school work, or pay my bills. I still have to prep for those things. I'm not sure how to explain it, but it's a feeling that hopefully you understand!

I know God will provide.

This makes me realize I have so much more than I need. I knew this before, but maybe now the realization is “What do I do with all this stuff? How do I help? Who can I help? Who is in need? What is my problem?”

Bear each other’s burdens.

That doesn’t mean I should watch a fellow believer struggle, and then say “Awe, I feel so bad.” and then walk away. I would have actually just made no difference at all in that persons life. I only said that to make myself okay with walking away without doing anything to help that person.
 
What do we do about fellow Christ followers in Haiti who depend on God for meals?
Do we ignore it and pretend like it’s not happening?
 
What do we do about the street kids who have no warm clothes in Africa and sleep wherever they can at night?

What do we do about the children who are being abducted from their homes and forced to kill others and fight in a war they want no part of?

All these examples are different, but they’re all fellow believers in need of something. Whether its guidance, love, wisdom, water, money, or food.

Maybe you can’t afford to sponsor a child, 
but I know you can pray. 
Maybe you can’t take a trip to Africa to love on some street kids and participate in a VBS program, but I know you can pray. 
Maybe you can’t protect all the children being forced into a war, 
BUT...I know you can pray.

Praying leads to so many things...
Opportunities will open up for you, and you may find one cause you are overwhelmingly compassionate about. It might be a problem in Africa, or right in New Jersey. But wherever it is, I encourage you to find it and make a difference in one life, or a million lives. 

And that is possible through prayer.

It may seem like a small thing to us sometimes, but if it’s God’s will, it will be answered. We have Jesus Christ on our side, who says “If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.” (John 14:14)

I know the passion God has put in my heart. I know what I need to do. I know what I have to give up in my life to pursue this and help those in need. My prayer is that you find yours too.


FYI
Tomorrow, we are gutting our home owners whole kitchen. This lady spent the whole winter in her house with no furnace and she’s been living in this home with no running water since Sandy hit. This lady is a trooper. She didn’t give up, and I don’t think she will anytime soon, even after recently being diagnosed with COPD. And she gives God all the glory for her survival. I haven’t had the privilege to meet this lady yet, but our team leader, Sarah, says she always says how she couldn’t have gotten through it without God.
I will post more soon!




-Erika

What's Missing?

“Your eyes are searching the earth. The groom’s eyes are searching for her.” -Shane and Shane

A couple weekends ago, I had the amazing privilege to attend a girls retreat with some of my best friends. So many amazing memories were made! The title of the retreat was called Obsessed. It was based on a six week bible study written by Hayley DiMarco. The study was about being obsessed with the “things” in our life. Whether that is love, worry, fear, your laptop, cutting, drinking, shopping, or success.  It was convicting and hard to hear, but it was so good! The last session was about being obsessed with God, who is the only one who can give you joy. 

The one thing that I kept seeing was that all the things I mentioned earlier that some of us may be obsessed with, or consumed by, only leaves us feeling more and more empty when we don’t constantly have these things. If I am obsessed with “stuff”, I will always want the most recent iphone and I won’t be satisfied until I get it. Or if I’m obsessed with love and being loved, I won’t be happy when my boyfriend leaves my house to go home. It may leave me feeling lonely. And when we break up, I may feel worthless and empty until I find someone else to love. OR the more I shop and feel the excitement of buying new things, the more I want to shop to feel content. All these things leave us wanting more in an unhealthy way. Being obsessed with shopping may put us in debt. Yes, we may feel full at the time of our purchases, but when we become obsessed with that feeling we may always want to buy things all the time to keep us feeling sustained. AND America has made this so easy for us because of credit cards and online shopping!
    
 Anyway...

After things like this kept coming up throughout our study, it became hard for me to think about why we don’t already know these things. We can look into the lives of celebrities or even our friends and neighbors and see it well. For instance, Justin Bieber... This kid is loved by so many girls, he has a lot of money and talent, and gets to do what he loves everyday of his life. Okay, so with that being said, why is he doing drugs? Why is he doing self destructive things? Why is he searching elsewhere for fulfillment? He has everything he has ever dreamed of, and there is still something missing for him and he is trying to numb or avoid the emptiness he is feeling.   

Imagine being on stage in front of thousands of people who are cheering and screaming your name, and singing along to the lyrics that you wrote. Then imagine walking off stage after your show is over and you feel absolutely amazing, like nothing can stop you. After that, you get escorted back to your tour bus through crazy fans who are screaming your name, and you love every second of it! After this happens night after night for a while, you start to get tired of it. Your highs are becoming higher while your lows get lower. You want life to be a high all the time. And now when you walk off the stage. You’re dreading the walk back to your tour bus because you know it won’t last. The feeling wears off quicker and you feel more alone than ever once you get to your bus. So you look somewhere else for fulfillment while you’re not on stage. And when you can’t find fulfillment, you look for something to numb the pain.

I am not saying this is exactly what happened to Justin Bieber, nor am I trying to bash him at all!  The kid has talent. I was just using him as an example.  BUT so many artist have overdosed on drugs or try to numb pain with alcohol or sex. I’ve always wondered why.  They’re living the dream, become hooked on drugs, and then overdose or go crazy? 

Why?

What’s missing?

We see it all the time with artists. But yet, so many of us dream of being actors or singers because we see all the money they make or all the attention they get.

The lives of these celebrities should be clear examples to us that money and attention isn’t everything. 

What’s missing? 

What have they done wrong? 

Where can they go? 

Is it even possible to be fulfilled all the time? 

Here is my observation:
They are searching this world for things to fill them and this world has nothing fulfilling in it that will last, because this kingdom is the devil’s! We see this in the bible in Matthew 4:8-9 when Jesus is being tempted by the Satan:

“Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you bow down and worship me.”
 
Satan tried to tempt Jesus with all of the things of this world, but Jesus knew there was something better waiting for him. There is nothing in this world that will make us satisfied all the time. We have to look for a kingdom not of this world, and seek after it earnestly with all of our hearts, and we will find it and be satisfied. 

Look at the lives of the people around you. Look at your own life. 

What do you enjoy? 

What do you hate? 

Did you think life was going to be something amazing once you reached your goal, and then when you reached your goal it was like nothing changed? Or did you or someone you know reach their goal, and then after a while the feeling wore off and they felt more down than ever before because their goal wasn’t all they thought it’d be? 

Sometimes we put our hope in our dreams. 

Sometimes we put our hope in people. 

Sometimes we put our hope in things. 

All the while hoping we’ll be satisfied by them, but putting our hope in these worldly things will not   ever last. 

EVER.

If we put our hope in Jesus, we’ll never be disappointed because He’ll never fail us.
He is all we need, and He wants us!

While our eyes are searching the earth, Jesus is searching for us. Trying to get our attention through the things that have failed us. He finds us in our failed attempts to find ourselves, and will love us no matter how long we ignore Him calling our names.


We can try to ignore Him all we want, but our hearts know the truth.  

 

Brutal Love Never Fails?

Hey Everyone! 

Some of you may be wondering why I named my blog “Brutal Love Never Fails.” Really, it’s quite simple...I read a book about it, was impacted by it, and learned that God’s brutal love never fails. The name of the book is called Sifted, written by Rick Lawrence. Lawrence goes through, and dissects, Luke 22:31-32 which says,

“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again,  strengthen your brothers.”

When you actually stop to think about this verse, you may come to the realization that it's pretty weird. If Jesus was basically God, then why didn’t He just stop Satan? Our thought is that if Satan demands, Jesus should rebuke him and be our biggest advocate. Lawrence tells us of the meaning of Peter’s sifting, and the book really answers a lot of questions about suffering in general. I would recommend this book to anyone and everyone.

Lawrence goes on to say that some of us may describe God as brutal because of something that has happened to us. However, that doesn’t mean that is an accurate description of who God is. That may be an accurate description of an experience we’ve had with Him, but that description is not true in whole. Let me explain a little more...If my little brother wants to go outside without a sweatshirt and my mom says no because it’s too cold, he will usually call her mean (this happens all too often...). Even tho, in that moment, my brother sees her as mean because of that particular experience he had with her, that is not true about my mom. She is not mean. I know that, and my brother knows that. BUT it was true to my brother in that moment.

I think sometimes we like to look at God to see how loving and compassionate He is. But we never want to look past those characteristics or think our suffering came from God. 

Ever. 

So what happens when we read the Old Testament. Do we ignore the fact that God indirectly allowed Job to suffer to prove Satan wrong, when He simply could have told Satan not to touch Job, his family, or his possessions?

Do we ignore the fact that God allowed His people (the Israelites) to kill so many others? Or do we take that and look at why? Why would God allow that? Why would God allow so many non-believers to be murdered by His people? Maybe this was some kind of preparation for the coming of Jesus.

If we look at Rahab’s story, we can see that news about the God of Israel was spreading fast. Rahab helped the Israelite spies to escape out of the town they were looking to take over. The story of Rahab also shows us that anyone could belong to the God of Israel. We see this with Ruth as well, which teaches us that God was not closed off to just the Israelites. This is very important to take note of. All these cities heard about what the God of Israel was doing for the Israelites and how he parted the Red Sea. Yet, they still fought them.  But seeing that all these places heard about God and what He did should be comforting. He wasn’t doing this for nothing. There was a plan.

Most of us know how the story plays out...
The land God promised the Israelites was finally given to them. And then the Messiah came many many years later. The Messiah didn’t only benefit the people of that time. He came for us as well. I believe the Messiah (aka Jesus Christ) was the result of all the brutality that was shown by God in the Old Testament. Jesus Christ is true love. God had a plan in all His brutality. His plan was to show His love for us.

I know what you’re thinking...that hardly makes sense.

I know.

It’s crazy.

I want to believe there was an easier way too, and there may have been. BUT I think God likes challenges. What if God chose the Israelites as His people because He knew they’d be the toughest, the hardest to satisfy, and the the biggest complainers? Maybe He knew we’d learn the most from their mistakes. If God chose a loyal, patient group of people with low standards, we probably wouldn’t be able to learn very much from them at all. God chose the Israelites for a reason.

I hope this is coming together a little. I hope some of you can see this in your life. But there is a chance some of you may never see the purpose of God’s brutality in your life, just like the Israelites who escaped from Egypt. They didn’t get to see God’s love for them played out thru Jesus here on earth. And that sucks. But, we still need to place our faith in who God is. Because one day, God will show us the purpose for His brutality if we let Him.

 

 

One last thing...

(This is my favorite example from the book!)

Sometimes when we feel we’ve lost control of our lives, we will try anything to get that control back. We’ll try everything to first save ourselves only to realize that we’re not able to cut as deeply as we need to.

Jesus will dig deeper than we ever could.  

We need to give ourselves over to God who is brutal enough to get the job done. He will use terrifying things we would never try. He will bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, and endure all things for us. 

His brutal love will never fail us.

I love you all. 
I hope you are able to put these concepts together to start to see and think about who God is and how He works.
(I also hope this made you want to read the book Sifted, by Rick Lawrence!)









-Erika

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." -Romans 8:28

Believe me. You do not want to read this.

“Lord, I give You all I have. But, what do I have to give that You don’t already own. I’m Yours” -Shane & Shane

That is so true.

I’ve noticed lately, that sometimes we sing all the songs in church, but don’t really think about what we’re saying. Just to be clear, I am not saying all of us do this! However, I have noticed some of us do, myself included. I think it’s safe to say that sometimes we get caught up in our own thoughts, and before we know it the song is over. I sometimes do this while driving, during class, while I'm at work, or during church. Mostly during class, but that’s a different story... Sometimes we forget to focus and I completely understand that! However, have you ever stopped to think about what you are singing about? For instance, in the pretty, old school hymn “I Surrender All,” you’re singing, “I surrender all. I surrender all. All to Him, my blessed Savior. I surrender all.” 

Have you ever stopped to meditate on what these words actually mean?

I believe many of us think there are things we are SUPPOSED to do to be “good” Christians, or that we HAVE to be something we’re not to get to heaven. For example: 

Bob goes to church on Sundays, and even a small group during the week. He prays before meals, does daily devotions, and tithes ten percent. He sometimes even volunteers for a ministry in his church when he feels like it. 

Those are all great things, but is that what being a Christian is? Is that what surrendering all is? Does it mean giving up two days a week to go to bible study/church out of obligation or guilt? Does it mean tithing ten percent even though you really don’t want to, but you don’t want God, or others, to think you’re selfish? Does it mean praying the same things day after day out of habit? Does it mean volunteering your time so God will give you a couple extra points? 

When Bob passes away and is standing in front of God, do you think God will take out his check list and start checking off action after action, and then say, “Oh look at that. You did everything you were supposed to do.” Then God will sign the bottom of the paper, pat Bob on the head, and hand him the paper so he can enter into heaven to be heirs with Christ.

OR

Do you think God will look at Bob with sadness in His eyes and say, “I’m sorry. I showed you my love for you over and over again, but somehow you still tried to work your way into heaven out of your fear for hell. Your eyes were on heaven and not me. Your motivations were not right.” 

What if the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit still existed, but heaven or hell did not?

If there was no reward for following Christ, would Bob still follow Him? Would you still follow Him? Most people would probably say there’d be no point. But what motivates us to take care of our parents when they are old and cannot take care of themselves? What motivates us to care for our children, or siblings? What motivates us to visit and take care of our grandparents?

The answer is love. 

No matter how many times Bob messed up, his parents still loved him. His mom went looking for him to bring him home safely after he snuck out to go to a party one night. His dad still loved him after he got in a car accident because he was texting while driving. Something his dad repeatedly told him not to do. 

What if we saw God as our creator, who has been by our side and who has loved us no matter how many times we’ve messed up? What if we loved God for who He really is and not for what He can give us? Even tho we may turn away, He is still right there next to us. We may not see Him, but He definitely sees us. 

Luke 14:26 says, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.”

Um...WHAT!?!

Let me try to explain this verse a little bit...

The word “hate” is used to imply that you must love God more than you love your own family and even your own life. If you don’t, you cannot be a disciple of Christ. I believe this is because God wants you to surrender your life to him and trust that he will take care of the ones you love. Look at the guy in Matthew 8 who asks Jesus if he can follow Him after his father passes away. But Jesus basically tells him not to worry about his father and to come and follow Him now. 

Not next year. 

Not next week. 

Not in an hour. 

NOW.

Jesus is saying we should love Him so much that we would go with Him on the spot. 

Would you leave your family right now to follow Jesus? 

One of the last things recorded that Jesus said to the disciples was “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.” (Matthew 28:19-20) It would be really hard to leave your family if you did not love Jesus more than them. It sounds terrible to even think about loving someone more than your child, parent, or even best friend, but we cannot pick and chose what we like about the bible and follow only those specific commands. 

Back to the main point...

I think that is what surrendering all is. Giving your life to the one who loves you out of your love for Him and allowing God to change your heart. 

I may be wrong...but I think we like to think we have control over everything in our lives...at least I do. Yes, we have free will and make our own decisions. However, I wonder what would happen if we started praying over our decisions, and took time to listen to God instead of talking the whole time. What if surrendering all is something we like to think we’ve done because we're scared to face the truth? Surrendering all is scary, and you can't do it without love. (I want to encourage you to read through the book of John to see how Jesus lived in complete obedience to God, his Father.) 

What if God is waiting for you to listen to what He is trying to say to you? Or maybe you are exactly where God has planned for you to be. Maybe He has these HUGE plans for you, but He is waiting for you to let go of something, or maybe God's told you His plans for you because you've already let go. I don’t know, but I think you do. 

Giving up your Sunday mornings to worship a God who loves you, because you love Him. Volunteering your time in a ministry at your church to serve the one who loves you, because you love Him. Tithing ten percent because God loves you, and because you love Him. Doing your daily devotions because He loves you, and because you love Him and want to know Him more. Spending time in prayer, not only talking to God, but listening to what God has to say to you, because you want to follow Him...because you love Him. Spending time with God because you love Him. (If you sincerely love God, you’ll want to spend time with Him.) If we can do these things out of love, our relationship with the Lord will grow so much, and we’ll be more willing everyday to surrender all to Him. We’ll learn how to trust in what we cannot see, but what we know is here. If you love Jesus, and start doing these things out of love, your life will look dramatically different. 

God is only limited by our capacity for wanting to know Him. Let Him fill you with the knowledge of Him.

How great does that sound? Knowing God more and deepening our relationship with Him. Why wouldn’t we want that? The thing is, we love to hold on to things...at least I do. No matter how much that thing is hurting us, or holding us back, we just do not want to let go! We don’t want to give up our comfortable lives to serve the Lord. We don’t want to let go of our hate for someone because they hurt us. We don’t want to do our school work because we think school is pointless. I’d like to let you know that if you give these things to God it will give you joy, it will bring you peace, but most of all it will glorify Him. People may start to wonder what is different about us.  But we can't do this alone. We need each other. Lets let Him take control of the life He has given us. 

Let go with me. 

Give up with me.

Why are we so scared?

Why are we holding on so tightly with all our strength to what isn’t ours? Aren’t you tired?

I know I am. 

-Erika